Any day now — the yearly winter escape to somewhere warm is coming, and I can’t stop thinking about how to stop worrying about money and just enjoy myself. Time to tuck the budget away and unwind.
In two weeks the Cubert family will be on a plane (you know how I love flying) headed for the desert Southwest. This trip is thanks to a pile of credit card bonus miles, and even with free flights I still worry about spending. The flights are cheap, and staying and getting around won’t cost much either—because we’re staying with the in-laws.
Don’t hate me—my in-laws are fun. Mrs. Cubert’s parents live just outside Vegas, so we’ll have a place to stay and a car to use. Cha-ching.
Escaping the Minnesota deep freeze (it’s zero degrees right now) always loosens my frugality. It’s an annual thing: right around raises and bonuses I start letting my guard down.
“Hey, honey?”
“Yeah?”
“Wanna play some blackjack?”
“Are you sure?”
“Why not? We’ll sit at the $5 table and blow before the smoke gets bad.”
“What, five minutes?”
And that’s how it goes. We’ll play the tables maybe three or four times during our week-and-a-half in Nevada. Who needs fresh air when you have cards and flashing slot machines? Bring it on.
But don’t get me wrong—we pack our time with hiking, golf, or just chilling on the patio with a book. We’ll take walks with the kids and visit model homes at the Del Webb office. Some older folks sure know how to have fun. There are plenty of things that don’t require hats and mittens but do need sunglasses and sunscreen.
Why we live in Minnesota? Because good schools are worth the cold. I have to remind myself of that sometimes. We optimize so much financially that it’s easy to get stuck wondering “what now?” My mind races all the time—maybe ADHD—and I lose sight of the big picture.
Why do we do all this financial wizardry? For early retirement. Because then everything will be easier, right? That’s what the prophets of FIRE promise, anyway. I’ll check the stone tablets later.
Sometimes you just need to hit pause and have fun. We keep reasonable limits: we use credit card points for our travel, and we’ve got a two-night spa stay mid-trip paid for with bonus points. When we hike under sunny Nevada or Utah skies, my thoughts still drift to money and early retirement. I catch myself and try to be present. David Cain’s writing helps me reset that perspective.
Extreme frugality is an easy trap. Get too stingy and people whisper. “That Cubert’s a cheapskate—he makes good money but drives a tiny used Honda and makes his kids share a room.” Those same people don’t see me losing $100 at Crazy Aces in half an hour thanks to bad double-downs and split 8s.
Look closer and you’ll find a family that drops $100 on dinner sometimes, buys movie popcorn, and yes, buys new clothes for twins who grow too fast. We skip big-ticket luxury stuff so we can afford what we want when we want it. Thank you, Mr. Maslow.
If you wrestle with spending like I do, don’t beat yourself up. There are seasons for splurging and seasons for clipping coupons. Finding a balance is the point. As long as you aren’t living with house envy, car envy, or Disney Cruise envy, you’re probably fine.
A lot of readers are scraping by. In my 20s and 30s it was harder—student loans, car loans, higher mortgage payments, subscriptions I didn’t need. If you’re buried in debt because of circumstances or bad choices, you might not be able to “not give a crap.” In that case, double down on paying debt instead of those split aces.
What I’m realizing—with about a year and a half to FIRE—is that you can ease up a bit and enjoy life now without unraveling everything. I’ll still look for savings and investing edges, but it’s become more of a game than an anxiety. After years of building a strong financial foundation, you can obsess less about money. It becomes a tool, and you can focus on living a life with fewer regrets.