I thought we’d exhausted every personal finance topic—until I saw the headline “Why we’re too afraid to get rich,” by Alyssa Pry.
The idea of a “fear of wealth” comes from Jen Sincero, author of You Are a Badass and You Are a Badass at Making Money. Sincero says many of us are actually afraid to get rich. My first reaction was “clickbait,” but I stayed open-minded to dig into the psychological blocks around becoming wealthy.
Sincero argues one big fear is simply the fear of becoming a jerk. How do you chase wealth without turning into someone you dislike? Sure, there are wealthy people who are generous and down-to-earth—Tom Hanks, Oprah, even Barbara Bush come to mind—but when we picture rich people we often default to the bad examples. I’m guilty too. Just yesterday in a ritzy neighborhood, I watched a drunk pro hockey player crash his big Cadillac Escalade into a parked car. That’s the image that sticks: arrogant, reckless, lucky he didn’t hurt someone.
If the worry about becoming a nasty rich person stops us, I want to know more. Do we judge wealthy people so harshly that we sabotage our own chances at wealth? Sincero tells Pry that “in our subconscious, we think rich people suck, [and] we think that if you get rich, it means you have to compromise your morals.” That’s a strong claim. What does Dave Ramsey think? Or the televangelist asking for a private jet?
Pry reports Sincero’s more grounded point too: getting rich usually means being willing to take risks and doing what it takes to reach a goal. That makes sense. Fear of risk and staying in our comfort zones is different from mere fear of becoming a jerk.
Sincero puts it plainly: “I find that in my own life and with the people I’ve been coaching when people decide to get rich, they’re available to do things that are outside of their comfort zones and stretch themselves. You have to be available to do whatever it takes, and that’s where people get tripped up.” I don’t think Sincero is suggesting we leave honest work to run a meth lab—though that would technically be “whatever it takes.” More realistically, it means things like:
1) Taking night classes and taking on student loans to get a part-time degree.
2) Using home equity as a down payment on your first rental property.
3) Making your boss’s life easier and letting them know you want to move up.
This isn’t new. A 2015 Business Insider post, “How Rich People Think,” quoted Steve Siebold saying the biggest thing holding people back is their thoughts and beliefs about money. Fear—especially fear of rejection and failure—sits at the root. If you want to make it big, you need to think and act bigger. For me, that might mean applying for VP roles at my company or elsewhere. For others, it might mean starting their own company.
Comfort zones trap a lot of us. Complacency creeps in when other duties take priority—raising kids, caring for aging parents, health issues—which are real barriers, not necessarily fear-based. But some people love the victim role: it’s always someone else’s fault—the boss, the company, colleagues. Successful executives and entrepreneurs tend to look inward and avoid that mindset.
Pry also gives Sincero room to explain how to shorten the path to wealth if you push past fear. I’ll play the skeptic for a moment. Sincero says, “It actually is a lot easier to get rich than one would think. Back in the day I was always broke and was living in a converted garage at the age of 40 and then I decided I was unavailable to live my life with that reality, so I decided to change it.” She went on to sell millions of books, so her steps are worth considering.
Here are Sincero’s practical tips, with a few notes:
1) Have a clear, measurable goal. Don’t just say “get promoted” or “make more money.” Be specific. What role do you want? What salary? Then plan the smaller steps to get there. If you aim for $100K or $200K, map out the moves that will get you closer.
2) Examine your social circle. This is delicate. I’ve had friends who struggled and friends who now earn six figures. I don’t pick friends for their bank accounts—people come first. Don’t abandon friends in need. But if someone is a leech or a toxic presence, cut ties. For your career, find mentors who share your strengths and have advanced or built successful businesses.
3) Act like you already got the job. Visualization works. Dress and behave in ways that match the role you want. That rising star who looks the part often gets chosen for the promotion. You don’t need to buy a BMW—smart, appropriate choices will do—but adopt the habits of people in the role you want. If the senior VP hits the gym at 5:30 a.m., try showing up too.
4) Just do it. Execution beats endless planning. In many workplaces, indecision slows everything down. Take action—even if it scares you. Sincero says to scare yourself into action; that can be a healthy push given how fast time moves.
Making money isn’t bad. Learn to protect what you earn with diversification, avoid living beyond your means, and be generous. Don’t hoard wealth miserly; be willing to buy a friend a coffee or donate to causes you care about. Give because you feel compassion, not obligation, and because you recognize how uneven wealth is in the world.
Finally, people who earn very high salaries often have strong sales skills: they build relationships, follow through, and deliver results. That’s emotional intelligence and confidence in action. Bring that A-game into roles that pay well, leave imposter syndrome behind, and go earn what you deserve.